emptydollzuki replied to your post “I WAS GOING TO FINISH OFF ALL MY DRAFTS BEFORE POSTING AND GOING TO…”

no fuck them with a snake they dont deserve mink

no not even mink idk not even bara something more like goosh goosh

recollectiveprotector:

skeletaltwin:

Suddenly, Sei felt all of the sadness, the anger, everything he’d ever felt explode inside of him, and he started shaking like a leaf in the wind. Was he really so terrible at expressing emotions? Was he really so terrible at saying what he wanted to and censoring out what he didn’t? Yes, of course. Having never been able to do so growing up altered his personality for the worse, and whenever he felt strong emotions, they came out negatively; even if they were initially positive. 

"What is ‘Sei’?? What is ‘Sei’ supposed to be?? I always trusted what the doctors, Toue-san, Trip and Virus told me as to what I was supposed to be: a test subject, a medical experiment, a ‘precious son’, ‘something fun to play with’! That’s what ‘Sei’ is, Ren! ‘Sei’ is a broken toy that tried to break free of its not-life and pretended it wasn’t cracked and shattered!" 

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He’d never shouted before in his life. It felt weird. His throat hurt now. Still, the action felt almost liberating… Letting out a deep breath, he curled his arms across his chest and continued digging his fingernails into his skin; now on his back. The pain kept him grounded, he found. If he was always hurting, he didn’t get too ahead of himself and forget what he is. 

"M-maybe I’m not actually your soul mate… You deserve someone that’s actually a person. N-not some thing that can’t control itself from lashing out. I’m p-pretty useless, after all…" And thus, the cycle of self-hatred continued. 

The outburst stunned him, to hear such a delicate voice lash out in anger. An anger that has probably been held in more than even Sei could realize. The truth was hard to face, its victims always attempting to dodge the aftereffects that followed. 

"Sei… No, don’t say that. You are not a monster or anything inhumane. You aren’t useless and showing your emotions after all you have gone through is nothing to feel ashamed of." His hold slips a little as he notes the pure agony in Sei’s features, the belief that he was nothing more than some escaped experiment.

Ren never believed that though, in Sei’s being nothing more so than that. Sei had feelings, a heart which could be tugged at in a negative or positive way. He could feel the pain of what he was, he could rebel against the truth of his nature. An experiment or not, he was still Sei and nothing could change that. In Ren’s eyes, he was still that tragic princess in the tower. And just like then, he wanted to bring back that smile. The one that could bring back even the most wilted of flora to their most vivid beauty. He didn’t want the one he loved to linger in this self-deprecation.

He simply resigns to sighing wistfully and reaching to thread his fingers with Sei’s, noticing how their skin contrasts. Sei was pale like a doll and beautiful just like one with a hopeful soul and a chain that needed to be broken. Ren was a shade darker, with all the tenacious energy of a determined man set on snapping the line that tethered the ebony haired man to the dark.  

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"I don’t think you are a broken toy, Sei.." He whispers candidly in the stark silence formed between them. "You never were in my eyes. And even if you see yourself as something like that… even the broken are seen as a beauty in someone else’s eyes.." 

Sei kept quiet for a moment after that, unable to decide what to say. His entire body was shaking as an aftermath of his outburst, and his heart pounding faster than it had in a while. Even he didn’t know where all of that came from; it was almost like there was a player in his chest that activated whenever his mouth opened. The feeling of having that little control over his words was difficult to comprehend. 

Noticing the contact Ren established between the two of them, the ravenette tried to flinch away, but was paralyzed. His warmth… the love in his words… how was he supposed to deny himself those simple pleasures? Even though he had none of that in his life before meeting him, it became a necessity very quickly. He couldn’t even think of a day that he could go without a kiss in the morning (occasionally one that he would wake up to) and a kiss before bed. Maybe he was just so much in love with him that he’d developed a degree of emotional dependancy on him. Or maybe he was just weak; plain and simple. 

The soft words that reached his ears only made more tears appear in his eyes. Even though Sei knew that he had heard similar words before, for some reason these just hit him harder. Perhaps it was the tension in the air, or the soft, breathy voice Ren spoke in. Whatever it was, the clear objective was fulfilled. Now, all Sei wanted to do was curl up in his lover’s arms, cry and apologize for getting so angry and saying mean things. 

A compelling idea indeed.

Sniffling and answering the hold on his fingers, the ravenette plunged himself into the other’s chest, hiding his face in the warmth. Ren didn’t need to see any more tears, did he? After this, he needed to make sure to smile even more. He had to be okay for Ren. 

"I-I’m sorry, R-Ren… I s-said so many terrible things…! I’m h-horrible…" 

Jealousy. // Strip-club AU ~ skeletaltwin

slyingblueminds:

skeletaltwin:

Sei wanted to be far away from here in that moment. He’d made not only himself, but Aoba feel bad, and he had no way of making it up. After all, he couldn’t quit his job. There was nowhere else that would hire him since everyone knew about the ‘illustrious Princess’ that crawled the streets at night when he wasn’t working as a stripper for anyone that would pay him for anything. Sex in a dark alley wasn’t an uncommon thing for him anymore. He’d slept with so many people trying to get by that he’d lost count. 

And the only person that Sei had ever loved in his life hated it. 

Curling into himself tighter; his knees pressing so hard against his chest that he thought it might bruise, Sei felt hot tears pooling in his eyes and falling down his face. Above all else, he hated being seen as weak. And crying in front of Aoba… that was something he never wanted to do. 

"Wh-what am I supposed to do then?? Nobody else would hire me, and even if they did, I wouldn’t make nearly enough to pay the bills! I-I don’t know what else I could do, even! I’ve been doing this for so long that I…" A sob shook his body and left him nearly breathless. "When I told you that you were the first person I slept with for money, I wasn’t lying, but I’ve been a stripper for years." He kept the words ‘on a professional level, at least’ to himself. He didn’t need to know that. "I started when I was sixteen, Aoba, and I just turned twenty three. There are things some people need to do to survive, and this… th-this is what I do… I’m not smart enough to earn an honest living or even to rob a bank, so I just…"

He didn’t want to keep having to explain himself for this. Couldn’t he just forget who he was when he was with Aoba and go on like that?..

 He saw it, the despair.

 It was so obviously set in those dark eyes he loved so much, in the tension of the pale skin he caressed with his fingertips, in the line of pink lips he kissed during their lovemaking and those gentle, loving moments after. It was all there, clear as day on Sei’s face, and yet, he didn’t know how to make it go away. 

 He had caused this. With his stupid jealousy and stupid possessiveness, he had caused his lover to try and hide from him, curling up in a ball and sob out. He was crying, clear tears slipping over the porcelain face, making him look so hearbreakingly like a doll that Aoba couldn’t take it. His mind was hazing over, anger dispersing, and he was left behind with despair, helplessness. He couldn’t even dig his nails into the palms of his hands. He couldn’t even take a proper breath. 

 He was left there, breaking, and Sei was breaking along with him, words escaping him less often than sobs. He listened to them both, wanting to say something, anything, but he was left with barely anything inside his foggy mind. He couldn’t even consult his crying lover… The one person he truly cared about. He really was a piece of trash. 

 ”Sei…” he tried, his voice sounding flat even to his own ears. “I… I know that… I u-understand that you… That you have no other option… That you would give anything to have that option. And I… I also know that I c-can’t… I can’t make enough money for both of us… Not with this job. But I do want to… I want to have you for myself… I know that’s selfish but you know why I… Why I feel this way. I love you…” his voice broke, finally, and he felt something wet slip down his cheek. “… I love you so much that I want to protect you with my life. I would do anything for you… Please don’t forget that…” he made out finally, and his hand reached for Sei’s. “I will… I will try to do whatever you ask from me. Just please, please stop crying now…”

It was probably against the point of those words he just heard, but all of the emotion; those loving words; the proclamation of ‘I love you’ he’d heard in his own mind so many times but had been afraid to voice; it translated to overflowing floods of tears. Every molecule in Sei’s body wanted to answer those words, but nothing was coming out other than struggling breaths and sobs. His lips were curling into a bit of a smile though; the negative expression beginning to fade away. 

"You…" he started, his voice soft and shaking. "A-Aoba, you l-love me..?" That was all he could get out before a sigh of relief overtook his body. He’d feared for the longest time that maybe he had been just stringing him along all this time, but maybe that wasn’t the case. Probably. Looking at his face, it was a definitely. How could he ever doubt Aoba, after all? He was the one that had brought so much happiness into his dead-end life! Every day was more like an adventure and less like a regret. He woke up excited to see him and went to bed feeling satisfied that he’d found someone he cares for so much.

Aoba was who he lived for now, probably. 

Squeezing his fist before exhaling; or at least doing his best to, since his breathing was still ragged as all hell, Sei loosened his hand and let it hold Aoba’s. Just the simple contact managed to calm his heart down immensely, and before long his breathing had steadied as well. His skin was still covered in goosebumps, but those would go away soon. What was important now was that he needed to respond. Any more silence between them and he’d think himself a mute. 

"I-I want to be able to be yours… and yours alone. My job just doesn’t always let me do that. Whenever they touch me, I replace them with you in my mind. That makes it a little more bearable, but this one time I accidentally moaned your name and the other guy got really mad…” He paused to rub at his eyes, not wanting any more tears to fall tonight. Sei had had far too many tears today, and he didn’t want to have any more. “I don’t know if there’s anything I could possibly want from you, Aoba. All I know is that I need you in my life… Y-you’re the first person I’ve ever loved. And I don’t want to lose you… I know my work isn’t the most respectable; hell, I’ve gotten more catcalls than most women would have in their entire lives, but it does what I need it to. I can live and not have to sift through someone’s trash for something resembling a meal. That’s enough, isn’t it?” 

recollectiveprotector:

skeletaltwin:

Narrowing his eyes a little, the ravenette cocked his head to the side and made a disapproving sound. He was far from buying the confused, ‘nothing’s wrong’ face after all. The way that Ren gripped at his clothing left him a little concerned though. Removing his hand from under his lover’s shirt, he relocates it to his cheek, thumb rubbing against the soft skin there. He didn’t want to freak Ren out, but the way he was acting was strange to him. Even when they began talking, he shied away from his embrace at first… and was very hesitant to touch him. Those actions left him more than just a little confused himself. 

"If you’re not sick, then what’s wrong? You seem a little off to me today. Did something happen?"

He takes solace in any kindness Sei gives him, a blessing in disguise as it provides a sliver of distraction for Ren to cling on. A wondrous escape from the grip of desire that curled in his stomach and made his fingers itch in anticipation. Leaning into the soft touch, hues of amber finally meet concerned obsidian and he finds himself guilty of this, causing his loved one worry. 

"I-I’m… " A hinder in his breath brings his sentence to a faltering halt. He didn’t know how Sei would react to the notion of his being in heat. Such a lustful state to be in, so awful that even a gentle hug with all the warmth of a sunny day would bring out lecherous thoughts within the man’s head. No, no he couldn’t tell Sei that..

One could almost see canine ears slump with dejection and rigid embarrassment. ”I apologize, Sei. But I cannot explain my current circumstance right now.” 

Maybe Ren really was sick. The way he was acting was abnormal, and if he couldn’t explain it, something must be wrong. Worry was obvious on the ravenette’s face now, and he narrowed his eyes even more so in emphasis of that feeling. “Ren…” he whispered, thumbing over his cheekbones with both his hands now. His face felt warm, and it was a little pink. 

"Ren, I’m worried about you. You’re not acting like yourself, you’re pink as a flamingo, and you’re practically shaking. You know you can tell me anything, right? I don’t care if it’s dumb or embarrassing; I just want to make sure you’re okay, and if you’re not, I can make you feel better. I’ll do anything for you, Ren." 

He meant each and every one of those words. After all the nonsense he put his lover through, Sei would literally do anything for him. 


Reblog + 2

WAS GOING TO FINISH OFF ALL MY DRAFTS BEFORE POSTING AND GOING TO BED BUT BITCHES NEXT DOOR ARE BEING SHIT HEADS AND LOUD AND I CNA’T CONCENTRATE ON THE PORN OR ANYTHING ELSE FUCK THEM IN THE ASS WITH A BIG BARA ARM 

I   C A N   B E   S E L F I S H .

     I want your   { eyes }   to look only at    m e ;

                Your   { lips }   to say nothing but my    n a m e ,

                Your   { body }   to need   n o   o n e   e l s e ’ s ,    

                Your   { heart }   to beat with with   m i n e ——

                Your   { soul }   to be a part of my    o w n .  

I   C A N   B E   S E L F I S H :

But if that would not make you stay,
                          I’d rather suffer in silence
                          Than see you walk away.


Reblog + 0

white-sei go for it- do whatever makes you feel cozy I think. Good night dearie

bitchywhitemobboss I don’t have any of my tea here… I’m just gonna lay down and listen to some music and try to sleep i think.

white-sei okay I’ll see if it keeps going for a while and if it does I’ll go talk to someone. Otherwise I’ll just try to sleep. Thank you friend- you’re a sweetie pie

bitchywhitemobboss fuck that’s fucking shitty I was shaking earlier too fuck a duck *slams head on wall*